I Do Like Mondays!

I always find Monday a refreshing day, a new start and I awake on Mondays with a positive attitude. You should try that too, it's a very magical experience...

Just a little detour from this pointless blog, OhMyFreakings! Pendulum are burning up my ears right now. Way too loud to be healthy and I will most likely turn deaf in later years but it is most definitely worth it. Rave by myself? I think so.

Right, so my dog is acting rather strange, which is actually normal for her. We always say she seems more human than dog but then again, I don't know any people who stare at the stairs. Or outside, or at me for that matter. In fact, I'm pretty sure she just stares at anything.

So at the moment I am reading Twilight... again. Before you say anything, I say "DON'T MOCK ME!" Yes, I am aware that it is a hideously written book with repetitive phrases and a predictable plot line that is about as flat as a flat screen television but, I... I... I just don't know. I often find myself rereading it for no reason. Just like millions of people watch Friends again and again and again even though it is clearly a very crap programme. So spare me your mocking and patronizing tones please.

Anyway, here's the bit I was getting too. Funniest questions a certain someone has asked me before [not naming any names of course]:

"How do you spell 'O'?"

"What's Swine Flu?"

"So, if you're in seated, does that mean you're sitting down?"

Good times, good times. Anyway, stay happy folks and chums and remember, Monday is a happy day!

"It's Like Hugging A Nun".

I much enjoyed the jumper-on-my-head pose that you were wearing. Very trendy and stylish. Obviously you are very much ahead of the times when it comes to new fashion trends. Perhaps you could finish it off with some shoes on your hands. I believe that would work... However, I myself am more of a vicar hugger and yes, it is like that! But then again, I do believe you mentioned monk huggers. It seems we are more alike then we thought.

"Roar! Roar! Roar! Roar! I am a Dinosaur!" Clearly this is the best song about dinosaurs that has ever existed. It shows real emotion and sensitivity on the subject of the extinct and has a real deepness to the lyrics. Also, I do feel that the vocals are sung by professionals, what with all that perfect harmony and the exceptional choreography.

Have you ever thought about the little people who lurk under shelves in Tesco and poke you with cocktail sticks when you walk past them? Because this is a very important subject that Camilla and I were discussing today and apparently the pain is much like that of blisters.

Whilst talking using rhetorical questions that are not actually rhetorical questions, do you know where the centre of the universe is? Well we do. It is exactly in the middle of the changing room in my school's Sports Hall and it is a place of such power that only darkness can touch it, with the exception of Camilla.

And I end this blog with the most amazing quote ever...

"And these would be my bangs".

Enter Shikari At GIAN.

So I found this photo on their MySpace and I take no credit but I thought I'd post it on here because I was freaking there!

Basically I was where all those arms are in the bottom right hand corner.

Immense.

Don't Send Me To That Meat Camp!

Run, run, run while you can because I'm not all that fond of Gingerbread men. They seem to have awful fashion sense and lack taste. Right, now I'll stop with the bad jokes...

Today, and a fine day it is, I have to talk about something very important to me that involves many things like trains that lead to meat camps and a venue that looks like a circus [and I really hate the circus]. Basically, although this may be extremely obvious, I keep having some really weird dreams and I can't figure out whether they are actually dreams or nightmares.

Probably the strangest one I've had in a while was the one about the meat camp which also involved a gay camp. So I'm really confused. This particular dream started off strange and then sort of went normal and then strange and then stranger until I eventually woke up. Here's what happened:

1) It started off with me being upset because tragically I had these big [and I mean BIG] spots all over my back that were filled with pus and some random man appeared in my house and popped them all. It was quite painful according to my dream self.

2) Then I went to meet Gemma because we were meant to be going to Give It A Name and all this weird stuff happened that I can't really remember. Eventually I found here in this crazy dome of a building where she was playing with Lego or something like it. Anyway, she told me she wasn't going to GIAN because I got those spots on my back and she couldn't be bothered.

3) I threw a major hissy fit and stormed out whilst everyone either stared at me or ignored me completely. It was shameful. Then I've forgotten a bit of it.

4) Somehow I was standing at a train station with Gemma and we were going to GIAN so we were waiting for a train to London. A train arrived and we got on it and only when it started to move did we realise it was taking us to some gay camp full of gay clubs and stuff. I look down the train to see my relatives on it. WTF?

5) We get off at the next stop and so do they. This train station is in the middle of nowhere just like the rest of my dream. We find a train to London but then I discover that my Grandad is being deceived and is about to be led on a train that takes him to a meat camp.

[This is the point when I mention that I have no idea what a meat camp is but I got that feeling in my dream that it wasn't meant to be a good thing for people. I don't think these meat camps exist in real life.]

6) Basically the dream concludes with us getting on and off random trains at 4am and never actually getting to London.

The other dream I had started off with GIAN too [why?] and ended with the end of the world. How happy. Although I think I can logically explain the bit when right after GIAN there was a major blackout and I think that's because in real life The Blackout played at GIAN. My mind works in strange ways.

Anyway, crazy dreams means that I wake up thinking that the end of the world has occured and that I live in a cave under a field.

Ps. Laura so rightly pointed out that when I said that GIAN was my first gig of 2009 it wasn't because I went to see Fall Out Boy in March.

Mercury Brainwashing?

So as it's Friday, and I have well and truly deemed this day a day of many wonders and laziness, I have just been relaxing, chillin', hanging out... with nobody in particular. But what you could say I've actually been doing is listening to some 'tasty beats' [and now this young language is about to be shot at so I can go back to speaking Standard English. The love.]

Basically I had to get The Vultures [new Gallows song] to put on my iPod as I'm seeing them in a week and it's time to get hyped up for the occasion. And this special occasion is going to be special as I AM going to go crowd surfing. Joyness.

Whilst on MySpace I decided that I would finally get round to adding Bloc Party as a friend, which has been on my To Do List for a while. Now I was listening to their remixes and stuff when I scrolled down to find the video for Mercury awaiting me. I love this song.

However, I could have sworn that the video is some kind of crazy brainwashing campaign. Once I started watching it I couldn't take my eyes off. Those mutant animals are some messed up citizens of the earth.

Anyway, it was weird. I thought I would mention it.

You Can Be German Too...

...All you need is four years no claims.

Yes I am fully aware that that was a private joke that only Camilla and I can laugh about. Also I would like to point out that in no way was that meant to be offensive to Germany or any of it's people. It just so happened that we were discussing Germany and something was said that reminded us of the Privilege advert. Enough said.

Anyway, I had something to talk about but it would appear that this specific thought has fallen out of my head. So I will intervene between the battle of my thoughts by pointing out how completely relaxing and just nice the song I Don't Mind is by Phantom Planet.

It still hasn't come back so I'll talk about how I was locked out of my house today... for all of about five minutes. I have a key and now that key is lost. Sometimes it just disappears and will randomly pop up again a few days later. That seems to have happened now, so when I got home and nobody was home I had to lurk in the baking hot porch for a short period of time. Anyway, it was fine because my mum turned up a few minutes later.

Another thing I wanted to mention [different to the vanished thought] is that I watched Meet The Robinsons yesterday and it was the strangest children's film I have ever seen. Now my mental maturity has been questioned on many occasions but honestly this film was confusing I tell you! I got it but at the same time the whole theory of time travel is one of the most confusing and therefore I thought trying to explain it to youngsters in the form of a cartoon was overall quite problematic. It was a funny film though.

Lastly, I'll finish off by saying that if you are a fellow member of Facebook and somebody challenges you to the Word Challenge do NOT accept because it is addictive and will eventually consume all of your time.

Bye.

Here Be The Amazing!

For anyone who is friends with me on MySpace [that would be nobody] you would know that this particular blog is not my first. In fact, I've been blogging over on good old MySpace for months and months now about every inconsequential detail of everything insignificant.

I simply love blogging. And when I randomly found Blogspot I knew I had to join. So I did.

However, I never thought I would persuade other people to join too. In fact, there are two other people that I managed to get to join this awesome place and I thought I would dedicate this blog to them and give them a shout out in case anyone else ever actually reads my blog.

Firstly, the amazingly intellectual Camilla. Somehow she manages to make even the most basic things like painting her room sound like a speech which is actually very impressive.

And secondly, Penny. Penny herself is a complete legend who blogs about her hair.

So follow them or miss out.

Hamleys Hating.

I like London a lot. For someone who doesn't live there, I would say I visit quite frequently even though this isn't really an achievement as I only live about an hour away...

Anyway, I usually go there for gigs as London happens to be the closest place to me where all the bands play. This is where I take a moment to pay tribute to my favourite venue which was so cruelly knocked down and demolished to make way for trains. Goodbye Astoria.

So, basically I spend most of my time in some dark and sweaty room full of strangers when I go to London but I sometimes like to go other places. I like the art galleries and and London itself and... Wait a minute!...

Hamleys! Don't even go there. Actually I have and I will. I have a great dislike for Hamleys. Over priced, over crowded and full of screaming little children... the fact that it is a toy shop does not excuse this. It seems that everywhere you stand in that stupid toy shop you are in the way of some greedy children or their generous parents. I say generous because Hamleys is ridiculously expensive.

And then to make it worse it turns out that there are seven floors. Why? Did they not consider the children who are too old to appreciate puppets and scary men wearing face paint? Did they not think that we have to get dragged around all seven floors of this place and then battle our way out again?

Once, when I was short and looked like an exact clone of Dora The Explorer but a British version without a tan I could appreciate that place and looked at it with wonder and joy. Now I would happily drive one of those trains that replaced the Astoria right through its shiny front doors...

Give It A Name Incoming 2009.

Yes, I was there and I witnessed greatness.

Now, many people [well everyone] who know me, know that I love a good gig. There is nothing I enjoy more. In fact, I just about find a new gig to go to every week and usually I don't get to go. But still, I do go to quite a few gigs every year. Now, when I say I love gigs, I mean I LOVE gigs. I throw myself into mosh pits, laugh when I get battered by crowds of people, push myself so far to the front of the crowd that I can't literally move or breathe and get drenched in sweat, beer and other random things. It's incredible.

So my first gig of 2009. Give It A Name.

My first time at Brixton Academy. The queue was pretty good. It didn't take long, about 40 minutes approximately and we got there early. So it was raining. Typical. knowing we'd get baked inside we gave our hoodies to Gemma's mum so I had to stand in the rain for the whole queue with only a Tshirt on. There was entertainment though. Here's a list of some interesting things that happened in the queue:
Someone decided to throw some fruit out of a window and a group of dudes decided to amuse us all by trying to get it back in. There were plently of mashed bananas littering the floor by the time they had finished.
Someone also came up with the crazy idea of pouring cornflakes down a drain. Tasty.
There were some rather rude messages scribbled across the wall too.
A guy accidentally went to join the ladies queue to get searched and the security dudes genius response was 'Oi. This is the ladies queue. Now I know you're confused but you can't go there.' I was cracking up so bad.

And now to the main event:

The inside was weird. The floor is carpet but it's so sticky that when you walk across it you can feel your shoes sticking, like you've stepped on chewing gum. Secondly, there was the most amazing NO CROWDSURFING sign ever that depicted three stick men holding up another one. I wanted to take it but it was a pretty big sign. [The sign was ignored a lot later on.]

Okay so the first band on were called In This Moment and because nobody knew who they were we all got a pretty big shock. The usual big hairy men wearing black walked on, picked up their guitars and got ready to go which was to be expected, as this was a rock gig but then came the shock. A small, blonde woman in a little yellow dress came skipping on stage and we were all a little stunned but a bit like 'Oh well, lets just wait and see.' And then she started full on screaming down the microphone and all our jaws just dropped in unison. Now I've heard female screamo singers and they are good but she was really good because she could sing well too. Overall they were an okay band and we even got given a free CD when we left. 5/10.

Next up was someone called Lights who announced that she was from Canada to quite a bit of laughter, not that us British laugh at everyone but she was really into it and just so darn cheerful. She also announced that she loved England and the way we spoke. She did an impression of an English person saying "mental" that was actually quite good but I think somebody should have told her that virtually nobody in England has that stereotypical 'posh' accent anymore. Anyway her music was just as happy as she was and she was quite good but there was one criticism and that is that all of her songs sort of sounded the same except when she did a cover of one of those tacky, 90s boyband songs and everybody sung along. Good times. She should have been a 5/10 but there is one thing that happened that bumps that up a bit. Yes, she somehow managed to start some kind of crazy dancing. I turned to my right and what looked like a mosh pit had formed and I was thinking to myself 'Okaaay then' but then everyone took turns at dancing instead. Amazing. Sadly, the dancing turned into everyone in the circle sitting down chanting 'Sit' and waving their arms about so for that she gets a 6/10.

And then there was Emery. Now I listened to their songs on MySpace a few hours before and I can say that I wasn't entirely impressed. I listen to songs that have a lot of screaming but those type of songs need some kind of structure. I was willing to give them a chance to impress me though as being in a band is not about the CD but how good you are at performing songs live to your fans and therefore bands are usually better live. And my theory was proved correct. They were good live. Being hyped up in front of hundreds of people obviously paid off and they did have quite a few fans in the crowd. They got the crowd entertained. 6/10.

Hmm so next was The King Blues. I listened to their songs on MySpace too and they are a good band but I was a bit skeptical about how well they would do at a rock gig as they sound a bit indie. However, they were freaking awesome. They had the crowd dancing and someone in front of my was smoking something that looked a bit strange and the singer got out something that looked like a banjo and started dancing around. Also, they had a lot of fans there who sung along. 7/10.

OMG. Next up, The Academy Is... This is the band that my good friend Gemma and I had been hyping ourselves up for, for months! So, obviously we had to get down the front. We pushed and shoved and got quite close. Now, I have some mixed feelings. Naturally I knew from hours of watching live videos that William Beckett has an exceptional voice and they are a good live band but... the lights went down and the screaming fan girls screamed and only three members walked onstage. No Sisky or Mike. I'm not going to complain because they must have had decent reasons but to be honest I was a bit sad. However, Butcher did an awesome job on bass and they did play a lot of my favourites which was good. For the music they should get an 8 or 9 but something lacked. They didn't seem to have much enthusiasm and they had a really short set so Gemma and I were disappointed. For that they get a 7/10.

The Blackout. I must explain. My awesome friend Laura liked The Blackout a lot [I don't think she listens to them much anymore]. Anyway, for some reason I gave them a listen about a year ago and I thought they were crap to be completely honest. So for the past year I've had something against them. However, I decided to give them a chance to change my mind because they hadn't actually done anything wrong and I was just holding a weird grudge against them. I put a few of their songs on my iPod and listened to them whilst getting ready and I thought to myself 'They're not so bad. In fact, I bet they'll be good live.' So when they walked onstage I said "Right I'm going in" as the others had said that they were saving their energy for Enter Shikari. So I left them and ran into the biggest crowd yet. Pretty soon I found myself on the edge of a mosh pit. A brutal mosh pit. Sense vanished and I ran into this mosh pit full of guys. Obviously I got bashed about a bit. Bruised and kicked. But then the craziest thing happened. Whilst running about in this mosh pit getting bashed around I turned to see Gemma? So I shouted "Gemma WTF!" And she laughed and practically screamed "Holly!" And then I got slammed into and she explained that they had changed their minds. Right then. Anyway we got separated and I got shoved over and someone caught me and threw me back into the mosh pit and so on.
And then I witnessed greatness as The Blackout got everyone to kneel down and when Sean shouted 'Get The F*** Up!' Everyone went mental.
Not only the best band that played that night but one of the best bands I've seen [with the exception of Enter Shikari]. 10/10.

So then, 10pm and the final band take to the stage. One of my favourite bands in fact. Enter Shikari! I've seen them before, back in November and I've pretty much been a fan since Take To The Skies came out. Give It A Name had a lot to live up to as my experience seeing Enter Shikari before turned out to be the best gig I have ever been to. So all four of us barge through the crowd to get a decent spot and ended up in the place where all the best mosh pits happen. Yay. The lights go down, the entire crowd roar and as soon as the music starts a mosh pit forms in front of my eyes. I somehow manage to get dragged into it, straight out the other side and pushed through the crowd and guess where I ended up. On the barrier. I was by myself but it was so closely packed that I couldn't move at all and I was willing to take a chance on missing out on the mosh pits if it meant that one of the band members jumped into the crowd and I was that close. Now, one thing I'd forgotten is that when you're at the front, the crowdsurfers fall on your head. I literally had 10 people land on my head, one of which kicked me in the face whilst about three people around me passed out and had to be dragged out by the security guards. And then Rou jumped into the crowd and we all tried to run to him which was pretty much impossible. But I got close enough to be inches away from him. Everyone around me had their hands reached out to him [me included] and he shook the persons hand next to me instead. My disappointment was immense. Much like the rest of their set. 9/10. They remain the best band I've seen live.

Overall the night was incredible. Looking forward to next year.

A Five Minute Musical Blog.

Right, I'm on a time limit. Just a few things I wanted to say.

Firstly, if you listen to Paramore then please listen to Hey Monday because they are so much better and extremely good live.

Secondly a bit of free promotion. You can download Enter Shikari's new song Antwerpen for free on their YouTube account. I did. :)

Thirdly, I finally figured out how to get videos that I didn't download off iTunes onto my iPod. Hazaar, now I have a tonne of acoustic performances to put on there. Including an amazing live version of Winter Passing by The Academy Is... [who I'm seeing on Friday].

And lastly, I really want to go to Radio One's Big Weekend because Swound! are playing but it's in Swindon which is miles and hours away. Darn.

Okay, that's it.

Atomic Smarties.

So I have the theme tune for Atomic Betty stuck in my head. It's a good programme and Laura once said I looked like Betty when I dyed my hair red but the theme tune is not so great. So I get that Atomic Betty is gonna save the world but did I really need to hear it in a song? 'Atomic Betty reporting for duty!' Good old Betty. The word Betty has now lost it's meaning.

Also, whilst desperately trying to get some other song stuck in my head, I've been eating some chocolate. I used to like dark chocolate but I guess my taste buds are all grown up now and they don't particularly enjoy it anymore. It's far too bitter.

Instead I moved onto Smarties. The Great and Mighty ones. Everyone loves Smarties. Everyone has a favourite coloured one and my favourite is Orange because it actually tastes of something other than sugar. You guessed it, the orange Smarties taste of orange.

I had an apple for breakfast too, because that just about balances out my healthy to unhealthy ratio. However, after eating it down to the core I noticed that this particular apple is slightly deformed and has a bit of a crooked middle. I felt bad for it so I've decided to let it reside on my computer desk for a while, until I can be bothered to get up and put it in the bin.

An online dictionary asked me if I've met Alpha-Bot. No, I haven't. From his name I can guess that he is a rather intimidating character. That's not the type of guy I'm looking for. And is it wrong for me to have an online dictionary saved to my favourites? I use it quite a lot to be honest...

Smells Like Chicken.

I do not have a good sense of smell and I have never claimed to either. To be completely honest I am nearly devoid of this particular sense but sometimes I can smell things. I know, it sounds crazy. I mean who can smell things? That's just weird.

Anyway, Today my sense of smell has been on high alert. Right now I can smell some kind of fly spray that is the kind that smells strangely like permanent marker and one that, if smelt too much, is likely to make me pass out. It's quite a pleasant smell really. And I also love the smell of petrol so I was very happy earlier when we pulled up in a petrol station and I got to get out the car and put my apple core in the bin. But there was just something wrong... Something nasty.

I get travel sick. It's a fact that has plagued me for many years now and it used to be that I would have to roll down the window or get whoever was driving to stop the car so I could cough up my insides outside the car. I've noticed that people don't like it when you throw up in their cars.

And I thought it had passed. I went through a happy travelling time of my life when I rarely felt the need to shout 'STOP THE CAR OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!' Actually I've never said that. But you get what I mean. Sadly though it has come back. But to make things worse, it has spread. To the train! Mmm, I now get sick sometimes on the train too. In fact, I nearly faint aswell.

Bah. Travel sickness sucks. You know it.

It's That Scene Takeover...

Does anyone remember of few years back when all of the good people of Medway could safely say that Chatham was home of the chavs? Because I do and as intimidating as they were I've noticed that chavs are becoming extinct in their own habitat. Ruled by the ever increasing population of emos and scene kids. *Chuckle chuckle*

Now if you happen to claim to 'be' any of these, please look away now or risk having to be caused offense because of the minority who have made me come to this conclusion...

Bring Back The Chavs! Something I never in a million years thought I would even consider but I cannot, CANNOT cope with the the scene kids who parade around the country like they're bloody Gods or something. Honestly, I could rip my own hair out in frustration and then they would laugh at me even more for not having any hair whilst they stand there taking photos to post on their MySpaces!

Now, only last Sunday I was told I judge people too much but I have my reasons and you must remember that I'm not talking about ALL them, just quite a few. So here are my reasons for having such a strong dislike:

1. Watch out, watch out, there are scene kids about! I'm not even joking. They ARE everywhere. They congregate in groups and never actually appear to be doing anything of use. They lurk, taking photos or comparing hair. WTF?

2. Remember folks, they're all sooo much better than you. Or that's what they seem to think anyway. Yes, I've had plenty of experience walking past these people and I think I can honestly say that nearly every single time they look at me as though I'm some piece of scum on their 'awesome' shoe.

3. They are all so much worse off than you. They don't have enough money to buy some hairspray and OH MY GOSH she or he smudged their eyeliner. This is so tragic.

4. Look at my Glorious Hair. Capital letters used because it seems to have become an entirely different thing from the person whose head it is growing on. In fact, why don't we just worship the hair? Perhaps you could even name it for us and then I could take a photo and sellotape it to my bedroom ceiling.

5. Worse than all of this is the fact that I seem to be associated with them. I wear the same sort of clothes as them and I only ever wear skinny jeans. And why why why do I care so much about my hair? In fact I was critizing myself just as much as them with reason number four. They make me envy them... How insulting! However, unlike them I don't feel the need for everyone to bow down to me and listen to every word I have to say. I'm not better than you and thank the world that I know it.

Keep it about the music. Don't become a sheep.

Z-Day: A Response To Camilla's Zombies.

Yes, one day it may just be that you open your front door, step out onto the porch and bend to pick up the milk only to realise that the milkman doesn't deliver on Tuesdays.

Or, one day you may open your front door, step out onto the porch, bend to pick up the milk and notice that the milkman's hand is still attatched to the bottle. Then you would look up to see that the rest of the milkman is also on your porch [spread around in various places], his body [head still included] looming over you. You also notice that the milkman has taking a rather strong liking to your arm. Strange, you say to yourself, I always thought he was a vegetarian...

Well perhaps he was. Perhaps he has turned to cannibalism after a nasty case of tax fraud or perhaps people, just perhaps Z-Day is upon us!

So what do you do? I use the case of the milkman [even though virtually nobody has milk delivered anymore] as an example to show how much a zombie apocalypse could affect our everyday life. To see this in more detail just watch Shaun Of The Dead [5 stars, my favourite film].

Anyway, we all need a plan. Camilla suggests a distraction although from my past experience Monopoly would not work for those who are brain dead as even I do not understand that game. So are any other board games to our advantage? No. They take too long to set up is that answer. But perhaps a good old game of Twister would make more sense. In fact it would work just spiffingly and I'll do a little role play to show you how:

Spinner dude: Dave, right hand green.
Dave the zombie: Uggh. [Picks arm that is no longer attatched to his body off the floor and puts it on green].

See, theoretically this would benefit us all as the zombies are practically guaranteed a win and that may take their minds off a little midnight snack...

To conclude, when Z-Day arrives get Twister at the ready. If you don't have Twister you are screwed!

That Other Strange Day...

Yes, I for one have abnormal days. Now my definition, to be more precise, is that an abnormal day is one that would appear to include your normal routine, where nothing actually exciting happens but at the same time all of those normal things are twisted and changed to become deformed and somewhat strange moments that literally make you think 'Excuse me Saturday!' or whatever day of the week it is.

As you can probably guess, I had [by my own previously stated definition] an abnormal day on either Friday or Saturday.

It started with nothing exceptional, I got up relatively early to do my art, got bored and started a conversation with my mother and then KABAM! Out of nowhere our conversation that was so basic that I cannot even remember what it was turned into a Hooray competition...

There are two things at this point that must be explained. Firstly, I would say that my sisters and I get our strangeness off my mum. This is something that she would strongly deny. Secondly, a hooray competition definition for you...

A Hooray Competition [AHC]: If you and the person you are conversing with have a mutual bond over something that pops up in your conversation, one of you chants hooray and then you both take it in turns getting louder and louder until you get bored...

So I'm not entirely sure what it was that started this AHC but it happened. This led to our dog, Honey staring at us until we eventually decided to go back to whatever it was that we were doing before.

Now another strangeness that occured is that somehow my art apron ended up looking more like a work of art than the actual piece I was painting. The unkindness of the art world.

Thirdly, my sister and I were taking Honey for a walk when we stepped outside to hear an unpleasant sound. Yes that sound was the abusive shouting of a group of fellow youths. This led us to reform our usual route to avoid possible happy slapping and other potentially dangerous social activities. Now this may seem normal but what is not normal is that on the way back, because they seemed to have disappeared, I turned my music up. Just as we walked under a street light I turned to find a group of them lurking down the alley we were passing. The look on my face when I realised we could be ambushed, priceless.

Right now, on a more humorous note, I nearly fell in the bath whilst trying to expertly dodge past my mum and sister.

Lastly, to complete the strange day I did something that was not at all funny and nearly involved breaking the furniture. I went into my mum's room to say goodnight when I noticed she was round the other side of the bed. Rather than walking around this low down bed I decided to run across it. Which I did. The bed sort of made this crazy creaking sound so I turned to my mum and said, "Well, that didn't sound healthy." Her reply was to look at me like I was stupid so I thought I would end the day by trying to make her laugh and so I mimed running up to the bed in slow motion. I stopped when she looked at me like I was even more retarded than before and instead walked around the bed with my head hung in shame.

What a great day!

Scary Lionman!

Well, today whilst out and about buying Easter Eggs for some folks, I saw, to my horror, what can only be described as a man dressed up as a lion. Now usually I don't see many people dressed up and so I am not plagued with a fear to go down the shops and face men in costumes. Today was no different, I hadn't considered this possibility. So you can probably imagine the look of pure shock and horror when I turned the corner to see this atrocity.

The Lionman was parading around, cornering helpless little children and giving them sweets. Now I don't know about you but I was told never to speak to or accept things off strangers. Just because this man was dressed up as a lion, this vital piece of advice seems to have been thrown out the window, stomped on and ignored by all the smiling parents.

I know that I am 16 this year and therefore likely to be ignored by costumed folk but honestly, I feel so ashamed of my sneaky tactics of deception as I crossed to the other side of the room and practically ran past the overly hairy beast who was handing some poor poor child something sparkly and golden.

I do however, have something that I feel is important to point out. So I figured that this lion was handing children little chocolate eggs and that may seem acceptable for this time of year, what with Easter being only a few days away but WHAT has a lion got to do with Easter? It's like they ran out of Bunny costumes and said 'Here you go, you can be a lion for the day. The kids'll never notice.' Well I noticed.

Anyway, I felt that this was a necessary blog to type as today I had to relive my fear of people dressed up in costumes, something that I thought I would not have to face again for a long time...

Accept My Offering Of A Pork Pie Or Feel The Burn!

The title of this blog is almost completely unrelated from its content. I'm still debating whether to have the pork pie or not though. It seems a very inviting idea and I'm glad I can't see the actual pork pie as I could just imagine it looking at me saying 'Eat me! EAT ME!' and then I would have to smother it in Salad Cream and devour it to shut it up.

Good job it's still safely locked up in the fridge. Not literally because I don't tend to lock my fridge. That would be a bit unnecessary...

Anyway, I have come forward to have a rant about this recession. No, not the national recession but my own personal one. I have spent the last half hour thinking of the many theories about where exactly my money keeps disappearing to. The only ones that are in any way possible are these:

An evil leprechaun took a plane over to England and has stolen all my money in an attempt to convince me that perhaps, just perhaps, I should go and free it's grandmother from the clutches of a small dog.

Or:

An evil leprechaun took a plane over to England and has stolen all my money because it wants to.

Either way, I have realised my deep dislike of leprechauns.

But honestly there is no way a social recluse with a weakness for revising before exams [and my exams are coming!] like myself has been out and about on a shopping spree. It's even more ridiculous than my leprechaun theories!

And now I feel the need to mope as all these birthdays are crashing down around me and I have a tonne of presents to buy and I still haven't got my mum a mother's day present and there are so many gigs I still want to go to or ones that I am going to but have not yet paid for...

Oh, a major epiphany... I've spent all my money on gigs.

Everything Overdramatic?

I was once told that I could be overdramatic about everything. Some may see this as a bad thing, I myself found it rather amusing. Wait a minute... What I meant to say was, "OH THE WAY I HAVE SUFFERED DISCONTENT FROM THIS HEARTLESS ACCUSATION!" See, I can be overdramatic...

Anyway, is it just me that feels as if everything is stealing my OTT and wrongly spreading it around? In specific I am discussing the hideous television. I do indeed declare myself antiTV [with a few exceptions]. Rarely do I sit down and plan to watch anything these days because it is all just so depressingly morbid and over the top.

My main example could have fellow British citizens quivering in their seats. Because I am going to utter that single word any second now... any second... Eastenders! Oh the drama and unrealisticness. Yes, Eastenders. A 'drama' full of murder, cheating, kidnapping, and suffering where it would appear that nobody can walk out their front door without something life changing occuring. It really does put television to shame.

And might I point out that the only programme with any right to make us all feel mopey and down is the news. But apparently that is not the case anymore.

Oh and it is such an injustice upon us all that not only do we have to avoid these repetitive programmes with their predictable plots when they are first played, but then we have to avoid all the ten repeats that are played throughout the week.

Shameful.

On a more positive note I just ate some Coco Pops.

Random Ramblings Of A Sleeping Person.

During the fifty minutes between now and the repeat of Gossip Girl I will have to endure eyestrain to type up some random ramblings whilst being half asleep. This may seem stupid but like I said, I am half asleep.

Firstly, I think I may be developing a slight OCD. I have the urge to arrange everything I see and it is greatly bothering me that the plate in front of me is unclean.

Secondly, I just had a delayed moment of realisation in which I realised that the new Harry Potter film is coming out this year. Hooray, even if it should have come out last year. That did not amuse me.

Thirdly, my iPod is playing Falling Down by Muse. I just shuffled it and this is not the right song to stop me falling to sleep. However, I am now listening to That 70's Song by The Cab. [Thumbs up]

Fourthly, is fourthly even a word? Anyway, oww I have a headache.

Have you noticed yet that this blog follows no logical pattern because I am actually half asleep and therefore typing everything and anything that comes into my head?

Oh, songs finished. Shuffle shuffle. Now playing Mothership by Enter Shikari. Finally a logical thing to talk about... I'm going to Give It A Name next week. Very excited.

Well I'm going to go now. Go to sleep on the sofa until Gossip Girl comes on. Perhaps listen to music.

Err... oh yeah. You know you should get off the computer when you have to squint at the screen and you type without realising it. Also, of you're wearing a vacant expression on your face like mine...

Miscalculated Errors.

Mmm hmm I am aware that this is my second post today, that's just how I do this blogging thing. It all comes out at once like a variety of other things that I will not mention. Not that I have all those other things... in fact I'm not sure I know what they all are.

Anyway, I was thinking about how sometimes, when things go wrong it can be quite funny but most of the time just completely humiliating and likely to scar your self esteem for life. I was thinking about a series of unfortunate events [I quote book names] that have occured over my lifetime that leave me full of regret and distress but more importantly a willingness to laugh at my own stupidity.

1. Don't you hate it when you say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Usually this situation stems from a lack of tact [something which I only acquired a few years ago and therefore I found myself in this situation frequently in primary school] or because you don't realise that someone is standing right behind you when you say something extremely stupid. You know what I mean, don't you? I'm pretty sure it happens to everyone but in fact it has only happened to me once and my amazingly witty and well thought out comeback was "Oh hello, I didn't know you were there."

2. Getting locked in the most inconvenient places. For me, this is often a toilet. And yes this has happened in a variety of places but the one that stands out the most is when I got locked in my friend's toilet and her older brothers had to kick the door open. What really made it awkward was the fact that all the rest of her family were outside the door waiting for me.

3. Poo. Yes, the horrible wiffy stuff. Usually it only happens when I don't watch where I walk and mean dog owners leave the mess all over the street. [I have developed the theory that they do it on purpose]. But only once have I been pooped on by a bird. And it was at a public place, in fact, it happened at a train station about two minutes before the extremely busy train I had to get on turned up. Due to my strangely unexpected quick thinking skills I managed to get it all out and vowed to myself that I would never stand right under the edge of a roof again.

4. Falling over. I have a fear of falling over backwards as I did once in the playground and it severely hurt my back but at the same time it was quite funny. Anyway, I can probably be labelled as clumsy so I tend to trip over invisible objects quite a lot. Although everyone else tends to look concerned when I fall on my backside, I usually just laugh it off.

5. Waving at people who aren't waving at you. Yes, there is nothing quite like seeing someone waving at you across a crowded room and waving back only to realise that they are waving at someone behind you.

Hmm so I should try and finish this off with some inspiring advice about how not to find yourself in these situations but the truth is that they happen. Oh well, just remember to look where you walk and don't use public toilets.

Something shocking... and possibly very shameful.

Could it be true? Has luck actually been thrown my way for a few hours? The answer is not as simple as it may seem... Well perhaps it is. The answer is maybe. Because for once in this permanent winter that hangs over England [yes, it is true] some sun appears to have broken through. Whilst this may seem a good thing, I myself beg to differ for the simple fact that I have just spent the last three or four hours drawing flowers. Yes flowers. How joyful.

And about half way through typing that paragraph I realised I have started my first blog by talking about the weather. That is possibly the most shameful start to a blog I have ever typed.

Anyway, completely unrelated from my amazingly entertaining topic of the weather... my friend just declared herself a llama.

Right then, is it just me that often finds myself signing up to the most pointless things in existence [ie. Myspace, Facebook, Bebo etc] for the simple fact that everyone goes on and on and on about how much fun it is? Well I highly doubt it because we are all tricked by the internet crazy but honestly why do I do it? Because I sign up and then I have to spend about half an hour colour coordinating my profile and then what? Nothing funny or amazing happens. It's blatant trickery. And then it makes me feel bad if I try and delete it because I think to myself "But what if something funny or amazing happens precisely two minutes after I delete my account?" It won't happen.

Anyway, I thought I would mention because I got dragged into the newest "awesome" site. Yes, I joined Twitter. Feel free to poke me with sticks. But I must say that Twitter is quite entertaining. You don't have to scroll down past all the 'about me' sections and because you can't type more than 140 letters, you have no idea what anyone is talking about. It's completely out of context which means that you could laugh at unfunny things and get away with it.

And now I must attempt to draw snow. This could take some time...