I Am A Child Based On My Maturity.

I have developed a theory about my lack of maturity. During my childhood I missed out on a lot of vital rites of passage and I believe that it is this that has created my immature sense of humour. I have also decided that until I have completed all of these missing experiences, I will forever remain in my state of child-like behaviour and will therefore have an excuse for doing some very stupid things...

I am not saying that my childhood is over, after all I am still only in my teenage years but I the following things are tasks that I should have carried out years ago. I now have only approximately two and half years until I am legally classed as an adult so I think I had better hurry.

1. I have never participated in a food fight. It is one thing that luckily seems to have no age limit but I do feel that I should have taken part in one when I was younger as of course food fights are often against the rules.

2. Although this one does not seem of great importance to me, Laura was very shocked when I told her that I've never been sledging.

3. I have never had a party with all my friends around. That also means that I've never had a bouncy castle or a giant swimming pool.

4. I have never been rollerblading or rollerskating. This is one thing that I don't want to do though. In fact, I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was nine.

5. I spent the first eight years of my life without a back garden and then up until I was thirteen I had the smallest garden in existence. By the time I actually had a back garden big enough to play in I didn't really play with toys anymore.

6. I never ate anything disgusting like a worm of dirt. It seemed that every other small child had but I didn't.

7. I have never done a dare in Truth or Dare, or at least not one that was good enough to remember.

Well, those are just some of the things I missed out on. I'm sure there are a few more but I can't really think of them. However, I don't want anyone to think I had a miserable childhood. I actually had a really good one. I made mud pies, pretended to be a witch, went on other people's bouncy castles, had pillow fights, wore long white socks to school and fell off a slide.